Robert Benchley

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about

— Robert Benchley

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

— Robert Benchley

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

— Robert Benchley

Drawing on my fine command of the language, I said nothing.

— Robert Benchley

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

— Robert Benchley

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

— Robert Benchley

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

— Robert Benchley

The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

— Robert Benchley

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up, because by that time I was too famous.

— Robert Benchley

The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.

— Robert Benchley

Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.

— Robert Benchley

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

— Robert Benchley