Stephen Colbert

I’m not a fan of facts. You see, the facts can change, but my opinion will never change, no matter what the facts are.

— Stephen Colbert

I believe in pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. I believe it is possible—I saw this guy do it once in Cirque du Soleil. It was magical.

— Stephen Colbert

Get your own entry in an encyclopedia. In the media age, everybody was famous for 15 minutes. In the Wikipedia age, everybody can be an expert in five minutes. Special bonus: You can edit your own entry to make yourself seem even smarter.

— Stephen Colbert

I believe democracy is our greatest export. At least until China figures out a way to stamp it out of plastic for three cents a unit.

— Stephen Colbert

Love is a full-length mirror.

— Stephen Colbert