Armistead Maupin

Christmas is a conspiracy to make single people feel lonely.

— Armistead Maupin

When I was . . . little, my mother once told me that if a married couple puts a penny in a pot for every time they make love in the first year, and takes a penny out every time after that, they'll never get all the pennies out of the pot.

— Armistead Maupin