John Mortimer

When you get to my age life seems little more than one long march to and from the lavatory.

— John Mortimer

The freedom to make a fortune on the stock exchange has been made to sound more alluring than freedom of speech.

— John Mortimer

Farce is tragedy played at a thousand revolutions per minute.

— John Mortimer

The worst fault of the working classes is telling their children they're not going to succeed, saying: There is life, but it's not for you.

— John Mortimer

The shelf life of the modern hardback writer is somewhere between the milk and the yogurt.

— John Mortimer