Tom Lehrer

It is a sobering thought, that when Mozart was my age he had been dead for two years.

— Tom Lehrer

I wish people that have trouble communicating would just shut up!

— Tom Lehrer

I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.

— Tom Lehrer

Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.

— Tom Lehrer

Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

— Tom Lehrer