Finley Peter Dunne
Finley Peter Dunne (1867 - 1936) was a Chicago-based U.S. author, writer and humorist. He wrote Mr. Dooley in Peace and War in 1898. "Mr. Dooley" became one of the first nationally syndicated newpaper features. Set in a South Side Chicago Irish pub, Mr. Dooley, the owner and bartender, would expound upon political and social issues of the day, using the thick verbiage and accent of an Irish immigrant. Dunne's sly humor and political acumen won the support of President Theodore Roosevelt, a frequent target of Mr. Dooley's barbs.
17 Quotes
Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.
— Finley Peter Dunne
The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.
— Finley Peter Dunne
Don't jump on a man unless he is down.
— Finley Peter Dunne
It don't make much difference what you study, so long as you don't like it.
— Finley Peter Dunne
A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.
— Finley Peter Dunne
A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable.
— Finley Peter Dunne
A man's idea in a game of cards is war, cruel, devastating, and pitiless. A lady's idea of it is a combination of larceny, embezzlement and burglary.
— Finley Peter Dunne
Comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.
— Finley Peter Dunne
The past always looks better than it was because it isn't here.
— Finley Peter Dunne
One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need the money the most, are the ones that never have it.
— Finley Peter Dunne
Trust everybody, but cut the cards.
— Finley Peter Dunne
Most vegetarians I ever see looked enough like their food to be classed as cannibals.
— Finley Peter Dunne
Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it.
— Finley Peter Dunne
The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better -- it is just turning around as usual.
— Finley Peter Dunne
A rayformer thinks he was ilicted because he was a rayformer, whin th thruth iv th matther is he was ilicted because no wan knew him.
— Finley Peter Dunne
No, sir, th dimmycratic party aint on speakin terms with itsilf. Whin ye see two men with white neckties go into a sthreet car an set in opposite corners while wan mutthers Thraiter an th other hisses Miscreent ye can bet theyre two dimmycratic leaders thryin to reunite th gran ol party.
— Finley Peter Dunne
Many a man that couldn't direct you to the drugstore on the corner when he was thirty will get a respectful hearing when age has further impaired his mind.
— Finley Peter Dunne