Irvin S. Cobb

A sudden violent jolt of it has been known to stop the victim's watch, snap his suspenders and crack his glass eye right across.

— Irvin S. Cobb

An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been discontinued.

— Irvin S. Cobb

You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation.

— Irvin S. Cobb

A funeral eulogy is a belated plea for the defense delivered after the evidence is all in.

— Irvin S. Cobb