George Carlin
George Dennis Carlin (born May 12, 1937 in New York, New York) is a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. Carlin is especially noted for his irreverent attitude and his observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many taboo subjects. In fact, Carlin and his "Seven Dirty Words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case "F.C.C. v. Pacifica Foundation" which affirmed the government's right to regulate Carlin's act on public airwaves in a narrow 5-4 decision. He is considered by many to be a successor to the late Lenny Bruce and was described by Comedy Central as the second greatest stand-up comedian of all time behind Richard Pryor.
8 Quotes
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.-
— George Carlin
There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
— George Carlin
On Thanksgiving at our house we like variety, so we don't have turkey every year. Last year we had a swan. It was nice; everyone got some neck.
— George Carlin
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius.
— George Carlin
Kids even have play dates. Playing is now done by appointment. Whatever happened to, “You show me your wee-wee, and I’ll show you mine?â€
— George Carlin
Ever notice on a box of cookies it says, “Open here.†What do they think you’re gonna do—move to Hong Kong to open their cookies?
— George Carlin
The seven dwarfs were each on different little trips. Happy was into grass and grass alone … Sleepy was into reds. Grumpy. Too much speed. Sneezy was a full blown coke freak. Doc was a connection. Dopey was into everything. Any old orifice will do for Dopey. He’s always got his arm out and his leg up. And then, the one we always forget, because he was, Bashful. Bashful didn’t use drugs. He was paranoid on his own. Didn’t need any help on that ladder.
— George Carlin
If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
— George Carlin