"As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job."

Barr, Roseanne on Wives
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"A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle."

Baudelaire, Charles on Wives
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"I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste."

Bissonette, David on Wives
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"Adam knew Eve his wife and she conceived. It is a pity that this is still the only knowledge of their wives at which some men seem to arrive."

Bradley, Francis H. on Wives
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"If ever two were one, then surely we. If ever man were loved by wife, then thee."

Bradstreet, Anne on Wives
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"Meek wifehood is no part of my profession; I am your friend, but never your possession."

Brittain, Vera on Wives
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"Once a boy becomes a man, he's a man all his life, but a woman is only sexy until she becomes your wife."

Bundy, Al on Wives
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"The fact is that my wife if she had common sense would have more power over me than any other whatsoever, for my heart always alights upon the nearest perch."

Byron, Lord on Wives
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"She'd have you spew up what you've drunk when you were out."

Caecilius on Wives
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"A woman asking Am I good? Am I satisfied? is extremely selfish. The less women fuss about themselves, the less they talk to other women, the more they try to please their husbands, the happier the marriage is going to be."

Cartland, Barbara on Wives
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"Variability is one of the virtues of a woman. It avoids the crude requirement of polygamy. So long as you have one good wife you are sure to have a spiritual harem."

Chesterton, Gilbert K. on Wives
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"If I was your wife Sir, I'd poison you! Madam, if you were my wife, I'd let you!"

Churchill, Winston on Wives
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"The true index of a man's character is the health of his wife."

Connolly, Cyril on Wives
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"The majority of persons choose their wives with as little prudence as they eat. They see a troll with nothing else to recommend her but a pair of thighs and choice hunkers, and so smart to void their seed that they marry her at once. They imagine they can live in marvelous contentment with handsome feet and ambrosial buttocks. Most men are accredited fools shortly after they leave the womb."

Dahlberg, Edward on Wives
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"Many a promising career has been wrecked by marrying the wrong sort of woman. The right sort of woman can distinguish between Creative Lassitude and plain shiftlessness."

Davies, Robertson on Wives
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"The road to success is filled with women pushing their husbands along."

Dewar, Thomas Robert on Wives
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"It's my old girl that advises. She has the head. But I never own to it before her. Discipline must be maintained."

Dickens, Charles on Wives
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"A man would prefer to come home to an unmade bed and a happy woman than to a neatly made bed and an angry woman."

Dietrich, Marlene on Wives
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"If you want to know about a man you can find out an awful lot by looking at who he married."

Douglas, Kirk on Wives
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"Nature meant me a wife, a silly harmless household Dove, fond without art; and kind without deceit."

Dryden, John on Wives
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"The argument between wives and whores is an old one; each one thinking that whatever she is, at least she is not the other."

Dworkin, Andrea on Wives
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"I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing."

Edinburgh, Prince Philip, Duke of on Wives
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"When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife."

Edinburgh, Prince Philip, Duke of on Wives
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"That's what a man wants in a wife, mostly; he wants to make sure one fool tells him he's wise."

Eliot, George on Wives
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"A man's wife has more power over him than the state has."

Emerson, Ralph Waldo on Wives
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"Never take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in."

Franklin, Benjamin on Wives
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"He knows little, who will tell his wife all he knows."

Fuller, Thomas on Wives
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"Choose a wife by your ear than your eye."

Fuller, Thomas on Wives
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"I... chose my wife as she did her wedding-gown, not for a fine glossy surface, but such qualities as would wear well."

Goldsmith, Oliver on Wives
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"Such a wife as I want... must be young, handsome I lay most stress upon a good shape, sensible a little learning will do, well-bread, chaste, and tender. As to religion, a moderate stock will satisfy me. She must believe in God and hate a saint."

Hamilton, Alexander on Wives
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"In that second it dawned on me that I had been living here for eight years with a strange man and had borne him three children."

Ibsen, Henrik on Wives
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"In your power, all the same. Subject to your will and your demands. No longer free! No! That's a thought I'll never endure! Never."

Ibsen, Henrik on Wives
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"A man is in general better pleased when he has a good dinner upon his table, than when his wife talks Greek."

Johnson, Samuel on Wives
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"Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough."

Marx, Groucho on Wives
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"Those graceful acts, those thousand decencies, that daily flow from all her words and actions, mixed with love and sweet compliance, which declare unfeigned union of mind, or in us both one soul."

Milton, John on Wives
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"A pretty wife is something for the fastidious vanity of a rou? to retire upon."

Moore, Thomas on Wives
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"If you are really Master of your Fate, it shouldn't make any difference to you whether Cleopatra or the Bearded Lady is your mate."

Nash, Ogden on Wives
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"A good wife and health is a mans best wealth."

Proverb on Wives
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"Do not choose your wife at a dance, but in the field among the harvesters."

Proverb, Czech. on Wives
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"Marry a mountain girl and you marry the whole mountain."

Proverb, Irish on Wives
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