Quotes by Calvin Trillin

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I suppose it's possible that the Sundance Kid didn't like to make much of his birthdays--they may have struck him as just another reminder that his draw was getting slower by the year--but what if he truly liked a major celebration? What if he looked forward every year to marking the day of his birth with what they used to call in the West "a real wingding, with pink balloons and a few survivors"? I think Butch Cassidy would have arranged it.

I'm always in town for Halloween. Even if I didn't happen to enjoy walking in the Village Halloween parade in my ax murderer's mask, I would feel it my duty to be there because of the long-established role of a father in passing on important cultural traditions to the next generation.
I happen to be on record with an explanation of why we can't have our Thanksgiving Day that much earlier: Americans all begin their Christmas shopping on the day after Thanksgiving, and if they started their Christmas shopping in the middle of October they'd run out of money sometime in November. The people who are hard to shop for wouldn't get any presents at all.
May is a perfect time to be in Tuscany--a time when it's still not too hot for a contessa to spend some time next to the pool, gazing approvingly over the vineyards that surround her.
Although he has "been down," as he puts it, for fourteen years, after twenty-five years of exceptional fatness, he sees himself not as a man who weighs one hundred and sixty but as a man who is constantly in danger of weighing three hundred and twenty.
Getting advice on the best way to bring up children is like getting advice on the best way to breathe; sooner or later, you're probably going to forget it and go back to your regular old in-and-out.

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