Quotes by Bombeck, Erma

"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."

Bombeck, Erma on doctors
5 fans of this quote   

"The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again."

Bombeck, Erma on exercise   

"You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates."

Bombeck, Erma on family
3 fans of this quote   

"Never accept a drink from a Urologist."

Bombeck, Erma on alcohol and alcoholism
3 fans of this quote   

"I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: Checkout Time is 18 years."

Bombeck, Erma on parents and parenting   

"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other."

Bombeck, Erma on success
3 fans of this quote   

"Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth."

Bombeck, Erma on children   

"It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows."

Bombeck, Erma on children   

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say, I used everything you gave me.."

Bombeck, Erma on talent
5 fans of this quote   

"Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide."

Bombeck, Erma on comedy and comedians   

"I am not a glutton -- I am an explorer of food."

Bombeck, Erma on control   

"It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else."

Bombeck, Erma on courage
4 fans of this quote