Quotes by Twain, Mark

"If you don't like the weather in New England, just wait a few minutes."

Twain, Mark on weather
3 fans of this quote   

"Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it."

Twain, Mark on weather
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"A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be lead by the nose."

Twain, Mark on wisdom   

"Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relation."

Twain, Mark on wit   

"Wit and Humor -- if any difference, it is in duration -- lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently; but one is vivid, and can do damage -- the other fools along and enjoys elaboration."

Twain, Mark on wit   

"I repeat, sir, that in whatever position you place a woman she is an ornament to society and a treasure to the world. As a sweetheart, she has few equals and no superiors; as a cousin, she is convenient; as a wealthy grandmother with an incurable distemper, she is precious; as a wet-nurse, she has no equal among men. What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce."

Twain, Mark on women   

"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug."

Twain, Mark on words
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"I don't give a damn for man that can spell a word only one way."

Twain, Mark on words   

"An average English word is four letters and a half. By hard, honest labor I've dug all the large words out of my vocabulary and shaved it down till the average is three and a half... I never write metropolis for seven cents, because I can get the same money for city. I never write policeman, because I can get the same price for cop.... I never write valetudinarian at all, for not even hunger and wretchedness can humble me to the point where I will do a word like that for seven cents; I wouldn't do it for fifteen."

Twain, Mark on words   

"A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words... the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt."

Twain, Mark on words
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"The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause."

Twain, Mark on words
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"Let us be grateful to Adam, our benefactor. He cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us the curse of labor."

Twain, Mark on work   

"Intellectual work is misnamed; it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward."

Twain, Mark on work   

"Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions."

Twain, Mark on work   

"I do not like work even when someone else does it."

Twain, Mark on work
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"Thunder is impressive, but it is lightning that does the work."

Twain, Mark on work
4 fans of this quote   

"Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, and play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do."

Twain, Mark on work   

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."

Twain, Mark on world
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"Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its use."

Twain, Mark on writers and writing
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"Write without pay until somebody offers to pay you. If nobody offers within three years, sawing wood is what you were intended for."

Twain, Mark on writers and writing   

"As to the adjective, when in doubt strike it out."

Twain, Mark on writers and writing   

"Never do wrong when people are looking."

Twain, Mark on wrong
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"It is better to be a young June-bug than an old bird of paradise."

Twain, Mark on youth   

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

Twain, Mark on action
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"Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities."

Twain, Mark on civilization   

"I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -- you see, I have friends in both places."

Twain, Mark on commitment
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"If to be interesting is to be uncommonplace, it is becoming a question, with me, if there are any commonplace people."

Twain, Mark on commonplace   

"I think a compliment ought to always precede a complaint, where one is possible, because it softens resentment and insures for the complaint a courteous and gentle reception."

Twain, Mark on complaints and complaining   

"Noise proves nothing, Often a hen who has laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid."

Twain, Mark on complaints and complaining
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"When you cannot get a compliment in any other way pay yourself one."

Twain, Mark on compliments
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"There is nothing you can say in answer to a compliment. I have been complimented myself a great many times, and they always embarrass me --I always feel that they have not said enough."

Twain, Mark on compliments   

"If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one."

Twain, Mark on compliments   

"I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough."

Twain, Mark on compliments   

"I can live for two months on a good compliment."

Twain, Mark on compliments   

"We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove."

Twain, Mark on conformity   

"Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."

Twain, Mark on congress   

"Loyalty to petrified opinions never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul in this world -- and never will."

Twain, Mark on conservatives   

"The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them."

Twain, Mark on conservatives   

"The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them."

Twain, Mark on conservatives   

"What, then, is the true Gospel of consistency? Change. Who is the really consistent man? The man who changes. Since change is the law of his being, he cannot be consistent if he stick in a rut."

Twain, Mark on consistency
6 fans of this quote