Quotes by Twain, Mark

"A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read."

Twain, Mark on books - reading
5 fans of this quote   

"People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases."

Twain, Mark on books - reading   

"My books are water; those of the great geniuses are wine -- everybody drinks water."

Twain, Mark on books - reading
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"The man who does not read books has no advantage over the man that can not read them."

Twain, Mark on books - reading
17 fans of this quote   

"A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razor strap. A thin book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat."

Twain, Mark on books - reading   

"There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure."

Twain, Mark on boys   

"Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with a cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat."

Twain, Mark on cats
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"Put all your eggs in one basket and then watch that basket."

Twain, Mark on caution   

"Education is the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty."

Twain, Mark on certainty
9 fans of this quote   

"To arrive at a just estimate of a renowned man's character one must judge it by the standards of his time, not ours."

Twain, Mark on character   

"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up."

Twain, Mark on cheerfulness
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"There it is: it doesn't make any difference who we are or what we are, there's always somebody to look down on! somebody to hold in light esteem, somebody to be indifferent about."

Twain, Mark on superiority   

"Let me make the superstitions of a nation and I care not who makes its laws or its songs either."

Twain, Mark on superstition   

"I don't know of a single foreign product that enters this country untaxed, except the answer to prayer."

Twain, Mark on taxes and taxation   

"I know all those people. I have friendly, social, and criminal relations with the whole lot of them."

Twain, Mark on taxes and taxation
3 fans of this quote   

"To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler and less trouble."

Twain, Mark on teacher
6 fans of this quote   

"It is easier to stay out than get out."

Twain, Mark on temptation
3 fans of this quote   

"There was never a century nor a country that was short of experts who knew the Deity's mind and were willing to reveal it."

Twain, Mark on theology   

"Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind."

Twain, Mark on thoughts and thinking   

"We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks, if we agree with him."

Twain, Mark on thoughts and thinking   

"A man can seldom -- very, very, seldom -- fight a winning fight against his training; the odds are too heavy."

Twain, Mark on training   

"Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing, but cabbage with a college education."

Twain, Mark on training   

"You perceive I generalize with intrepidity from single instances. It is the tourist's custom."

Twain, Mark on travel   

"I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them."

Twain, Mark on travel
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"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened."

Twain, Mark on trials
4 fans of this quote   

"A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial."

Twain, Mark on trials
3 fans of this quote   

"Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it."

Twain, Mark on truth
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"Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't."

Twain, Mark on truth   

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."

Twain, Mark on truth
3 fans of this quote   

"I never could tell a lie that anybody would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe."

Twain, Mark on truth
4 fans of this quote   

"Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth."

Twain, Mark on truth   

"Truth is neither alive nor dead; it just aggravates itself all the time."

Twain, Mark on truth   

"No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies."

Twain, Mark on truth
6 fans of this quote   

"There are no grades of vanity, there are only grades of ability in concealing it."

Twain, Mark on vanity   

"I have not a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming vices."

Twain, Mark on vice
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"Be virtuous and you will be eccentric."

Twain, Mark on virtue
3 fans of this quote   

This quotation can be viewed in the context of a book

"Virtue has never been as respectable as money."

Twain, Mark on virtue   

"There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined."

Twain, Mark on vulgarity
3 fans of this quote   

"The true charm of pedestrianism does not lie in the walking, or in the scenery, but in the talking. The walking is good to time the movement of the tongue by, and to keep the blood and the brain stirred up and active; the scenery and the woodsy smells are good to bear in upon a man an unconscious and unobtrusive charm and solace to eye and soul and sense; but the supreme pleasure comes from the talk."

Twain, Mark on walking   

"O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief... for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen."

Twain, Mark on war