Quotes by Josh Billings

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Humorist and lecturer Josh Billings more

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Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do.

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected.
The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.
Advice is like castor oil, easy to give, but dreadful to take.
Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got.
Consider the postage stamp, my son. It secures success through its ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.
A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates.
The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his way.
In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us.
Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.
Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.
The more humble a man is before God the more he will be exalted; the more humble he is before man, the more he will get rode roughshod.
Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
It is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.
There is a significant Latin proverb; to wit: Who will guard the guards?
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.
If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could not even eat hash with any safety.
The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.
Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.
Poverty is the step-mother of genius.
Don't put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.
It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient.
Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.
If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it as the old woman did her lost spectacles. Safe on her own nose all the time.
Experience increases our wisdom but doesn't reduce our follies.
Experience is a school where a man learns what a big fool he has been.
Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to.
Music hath the charm to soothe a savage beast, but I'd try a revolver first.
If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself.
About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.
Don't mistake pleasure for happiness. They are a different breed of dogs.
One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can.
It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit.
I don't care how much a person talks, if they only say it in a few words.
As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for.
There's lots of people who spend so much time watching their health, they haven't got time to enjoy it.
There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won t.
Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.
Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.
I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else.
Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist -- it reduces him to his fighting weight.
Some folks are wise and some otherwise.
To bring up a child in the way he should go -- travel that way yourself.
As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.
Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.
As a general thing, when the woman wears the pants in the family, she has a good right to them.
The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord it ain't the gout.
I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money.
Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.
To enjoy a good reputation give publicly, and steal privately.
Pity cost nothing and ain't worth nothing.
A good place to visit, but a poor place to stay.
Remember the poor, it costs nothing.
I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design.
Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.
Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it.
Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.

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