Quotes by Bierce, Ambrose

"The act of repeating erroneously the words of another."

Bierce, Ambrose on quotations   

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"Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad government."

Bierce, Ambrose on rebellion   

"Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable."

Bierce, Ambrose on religion
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"Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment."

Bierce, Ambrose on evolution   

"Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited."

Bierce, Ambrose on saints   

"Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull."

Bierce, Ambrose on scholars and scholarship   

"Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you."

Bierce, Ambrose on slander   

"Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows."

Bierce, Ambrose on success   

"Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband."

Bierce, Ambrose on beauty
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"Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain."

Bierce, Ambrose on bigotry   

"Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen."

Bierce, Ambrose on bores and boredom
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"Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility."

Bierce, Ambrose on business   

"Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat."

Bierce, Ambrose on business   

"Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others."

Bierce, Ambrose on calamity
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"To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice."

Bierce, Ambrose on certainty   

"Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward."

Bierce, Ambrose on childhood   

"Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect."

Bierce, Ambrose on swearing   

"Think twice before you speak to a friend in need."

Bierce, Ambrose on thoughts and thinking   

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"Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw."

Bierce, Ambrose on trials   

"Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors."

Bierce, Ambrose on trials   

"Truth -- An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance."

Bierce, Ambrose on truth   

"They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid."

Bierce, Ambrose on vanity   

"Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her."

Bierce, Ambrose on weddings   

"Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out."

Bierce, Ambrose on wit   

"Woman absent is woman dead."

Bierce, Ambrose on absence
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"When in Rome, do as Rome does."

Bierce, Ambrose on life   

"Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not to have, and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due."

Bierce, Ambrose on compromise   

"The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors."

Bierce, Ambrose on congress   

"Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others."

Bierce, Ambrose on conservatives   

"A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs."

Bierce, Ambrose on war   

"Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their desolating incursions."

Bierce, Ambrose on credit   

"Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another."

Bierce, Ambrose on crime and criminals   

"The covers of this book are too far apart."

Bierce, Ambrose on criticism   

"A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be."

Bierce, Ambrose on cynics and cynicism
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