Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce (born June 24, 1842, Horse Cave Creek, Meigs County, Ohio, USA date of death uncertain, possibly December 1913 or early 1914, presumably in Mexico) was an American satirist, critic, poet, short story ... more

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APRIL FOOL, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.

MONDAY, n. In Christian countries, the day after the baseball game.
To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
Liberty, n. One of imagination’s most precious possessions.
HOUSE, n. A hollow edifice erected for the habitation of man, rat, mouse, beetle, cockroach, fly, mosquito, flea, bacillus, and microbe.
AFFIANCE, pp. Fitted with an ankle-ring for the ball-and-chain.
BABE or BABY, n. A misshapen creature of no particular age, sex, or condition, chiefly remarkable for the violence of the sympathies and antipathies it excites in others, itself without sentiment or emotion.
CALAMITY, n. A more than commonly plain and unmistakeable reminder that the affairs of this life are not of our own ordering.
ABSTAINER; n. A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. . . . BRANDY; n. A cordial composed of one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder.