Quotes by Lily Tomlin

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Why is it when we talk to God, we're praying, but when God talks to us, we're schizophrenic?

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you're still a rat.
If truth is beauty, then how come no one has their hair done in a library?
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
We are all in this together, by ourselves.
Reality is the crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working Americans. It is the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
For fast-acting relief try slowing down.
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
I have always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.

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