Quotes by Rowland, Helen




Helen Rowland (1875-1950) was a very quotable American journalist and humorist..

"Failing to be there when a man wants her is a woman's greatest sin, except to be there when he doesn't want her."

Rowland, Helen on absence
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"France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are made in America."

Rowland, Helen on divorce    Share

"Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest."

Rowland, Helen on divorce    Share

"When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they don't understand one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to."

Rowland, Helen on divorce    Share

"A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world."

Rowland, Helen on fathers and sons    Share

"A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little personal characteristics."

Rowland, Helen on faults    Share

"To make a man perfectly happy tell him he works too hard, that he spends too much money, that he is misunderstood or that he is different; none of this is necessarily complimentary, but it will flatter him infinitely more that merely telling him that he is brilliant, or noble, or wise, or good."

Rowland, Helen on flattery    Share

"Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself."

Rowland, Helen on flirting    Share

"The hardest task of a girl's life, nowadays, is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious."

Rowland, Helen on flirting    Share

"Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her -- when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?"

Rowland, Helen on flirting
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"Don't waste time trying to break a man's heart; be satisfied if you can just manage to chip it in a brand new place."

Rowland, Helen on art    Share

"Home is any four walls that enclose the right person."

Rowland, Helen on home
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"A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted."

Rowland, Helen on husbands
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"When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living."

Rowland, Helen on husbands    Share

"Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts and his higher nature -- and another woman to help him forget them."

Rowland, Helen on infidelity
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"Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man."

Rowland, Helen on lies and lying    Share

"Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common-sense."

Rowland, Helen on love    Share

"Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing."

Rowland, Helen on love
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"It is easier to keep half a dozen lovers guessing than to keep one lover after he has stopped guessing."

Rowland, Helen on love
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"A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting."

Rowland, Helen on marriage    Share

"After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her."

Rowland, Helen on marriage    Share

"Before marriage, a man will go home and lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll go to sleep before you finish saying it."

Rowland, Helen on marriage
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"Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty."

Rowland, Helen on marriage    Share

"Marriage is the operation by which a woman's vanity and a man's egotism are extracted without an anaesthetic."

Rowland, Helen on marriage    Share

"When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one."

Rowland, Helen on marriage
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"There's so much saint in the worst of them, and so much devil in the best of them, that a woman who's married to one of them, has nothing to learn of the rest of them."

Rowland, Helen on men    Share

"There are only two kinds of men; the dead and the deadly."

Rowland, Helen on men
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"It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son -- and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him."

Rowland, Helen on women
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"Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time."

Rowland, Helen on women    Share

"A fool and her money are soon courted."

Rowland, Helen on money    Share

"The follies which a man regrets most in his life, are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity."

Rowland, Helen on opportunity
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"Call the bald man, Boy; make the sage thy toy; greet the youth with solemn face; praise the fat man for his grace."

Rowland, Helen on persuasion    Share

"Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever."

Rowland, Helen on bachelor    Share

"Marrying an old bachelor is like buying second-hand furniture."

Rowland, Helen on bachelor    Share

"A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor."

Rowland, Helen on bachelor
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"A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever."

Rowland, Helen on bachelor    Share

"The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head."

Rowland, Helen on baldness    Share

"Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course."

Rowland, Helen on relationship    Share

"No man can understand why a woman shouldn't prefer a good reputation to a good time."

Rowland, Helen on reputation
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"In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced."

Rowland, Helen on sacrifice    Share

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