Quotes by Robert Benchley

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Robert Charles Benchley (September 15, 1889 in Worcester, Massachusetts November 21, 1945) was an American humorist, newspaper columnist, film actor, and drama editor.

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A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.
Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
Drawing on my fine command of the language, I said nothing.
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.
It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up, because by that time I was too famous.
In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.
Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.