Quotes by Will Rogers

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William Penn Adair “Will” Rogers (November 4, 1879 - August 15, 1935) was a Cherokee-American cowboy, comedian, humorist, social commentator, vaudeville performer and actor. He was the father of U.S. Congressman and WWII Veteran Will Rogers, Jr. more

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Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.
The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you.
A man can learn only two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.
You never know how much a man can't remember until he is called as a witness.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
There is nothing so stupid as an educated man, if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow is too lazy to form an opinion.
People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.
When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging
The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.
The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
I've often said there's nothing better for the inside of a man than the outside of a horse.
We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
Pain is such an uncomfortable feeling that even a tiny amount of it is enough to ruin every enjoyment.
Everybody is ignorant -- only on different subjects.
It's great to be great, but it's greater to be human.
America is a great country, but you can't live in it for nothing.
In the early days of the Indian Territory, there were no such things as birth certificates. You being there was certificate enough.
It doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out the next morning that it was someone else.
In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write, but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing.
I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do today.
This country has gotten where it is in spite of politics, not by the aid of it. That we have carried as much political bunk as we have and still survived shows we are a super nation.
The reason political party platforms are so long is that when you straddle anything it takes a long time to explain it.
Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf.
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.
Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up. If it don't go up, don't buy it.
Strangers are just friends I haven't met yet.
The Republicans have their splits right after election and Democrats have theirs just before an election.
An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else s.
With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke.
Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
My ancestors didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they were there to meet the boat.
I never met a man I didn't like.
One ad is worth more to a paper than forty editorials.
We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
Everybody is ignorant only on different subjects.
If you ever injected truth into politics you would have no politics.
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
All I know is just what I read in the papers.
There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
I tell you folks, all politics is applesauce.
No party is as bad as its leaders.
Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.
Politics is not worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space.
The more you read and observe about this politics thing, the more you've got to admit that each party's worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best.
I like to hear a man talk about himself because then I never hear anything, but good.
You can't say that civilization don't advance... for in every war they kill you a new way.
One revolution is like one cocktail, it just gets you organized for the next.
Our public men are speaking every day on something, but they ain't saying anything.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
The Income Tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.

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