Quotes by Nash, Ogden

"Good wine needs no bush, and perhaps products that people really want need no hard-sell or soft-sell TV push. Why not? Look at pot."

Nash, Ogden on advertising
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"Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else."

Nash, Ogden on age and aging
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"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of."

Nash, Ogden on dogs
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"Candy, is dandy, but Liquor, is quicker."

Nash, Ogden on alcohol and alcoholism
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"No matter how deep and dark your pit, how dank your shroud, their heads are heroically unbloody and unbowed."

Nash, Ogden on grief
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"The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control."

Nash, Ogden on happiness
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"Man is a victim of dope in the incurable form of hope."

Nash, Ogden on hope
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"A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick."

Nash, Ogden on husbands
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"Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor."

Nash, Ogden on life
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"The cow is of the bovine ilk: One end is moo, the other, milk."

Nash, Ogden on animals
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"There is only one thing for a man to do who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and that is enjoy earning it."

Nash, Ogden on marriage
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"To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up."

Nash, Ogden on marriage
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"Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open."

Nash, Ogden on marriage
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"Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?"

Nash, Ogden on new year
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"I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons."

Nash, Ogden on news
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"How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge!"

Nash, Ogden on obesity
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"Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, here's a list of today's appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures -- take them, George, they're yours!"

Nash, Ogden on office
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"Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore."

Nash, Ogden on parents and parenting
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"Whether elected or appointed he considers himself the Lord's anointed, and indeed the ointment lingers on him so thick you can't get your fingers on him."

Nash, Ogden on politics
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"Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs."

Nash, Ogden on professions and professionals
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"Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long."

Nash, Ogden on progress
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"One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence."

Nash, Ogden on remorse
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"Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind."

Nash, Ogden on repentance
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"I don't mind their having a lot of money, and I don't care how they employ it, but I do think that they damn well ought to admit they enjoy it."

Nash, Ogden on riches
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"Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes, the wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year."

Nash, Ogden on seasons
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"The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin."

Nash, Ogden on sin
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"They take the paper and they read the headlines. So they've heard of unemployment and they've heard of bread-lines. And they philanthropically cure them all by getting up a costume charity ball."

Nash, Ogden on charity
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"And one of his partners asked Has he vertigo? and the other glanced out and down and said Oh no, only about ten feet more."

Nash, Ogden on suicide
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"The further through life I drift the more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in thrift."

Nash, Ogden on thrift
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"People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up."

Nash, Ogden on wages
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"Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy. You've had about seven hours of sleep since Friday. No wonder you feel that lost sensation. You're sunk from a riot of relaxation."

Nash, Ogden on weekends
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"If you are really Master of your Fate, it shouldn't make any difference to you whether Cleopatra or the Bearded Lady is your mate."

Nash, Ogden on wives
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"If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work."

Nash, Ogden on work
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"Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for."

Nash, Ogden on children
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"I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it."

Nash, Ogden on science
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"There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all."

Nash, Ogden on science
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