Quotes by John Mortimer

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When you get to my age life seems little more than one long march to and from the lavatory.

Farce is tragedy played at a thousand revolutions per minute.
The freedom to make a fortune on the stock exchange has been made to sound more alluring than freedom of speech.
The worst fault of the working classes is telling their children they're not going to succeed, saying: There is life, but it's not for you.
The shelf life of the modern hardback writer is somewhere between the milk and the yogurt.