Quotes by Jackie Mason

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Jackie Mason (born Jacob Maza on June 9, 1931, in Sheboygan, Wisconsin) is an ordained rabbi and an American stand-up comedian. He enjoys provoking controversy with his politically incorrect routines and his opinionated observations on Jewish and American life. He gained infamy by allegedly giving Ed Sullivan the finger (he denies this, insisting instead that numerous fingers were flashed and Ed Sullivan assumed he gave him the finger. He later retaliated against Sullivan with a libel suit in the New York State Supreme Court and won. It would be a year and a half before Sullivan would finally let him back on his show).

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Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
By these things examine thyself. By whose rules am I acting; in whose name; in whose strength; in whose glory? What faith, humility, self-denial, and love of God and to man have there been in all my actions?

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