Quotes by A. P. Herbert

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An act of God was defined as something which no reasonable man could have expected.

A highbrow is the kind of person who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso.
Well, fancy giving money to the Government! Might as well have put it down the drain.
Elderly gentlemen, gentle in all respects, kind to animals, beloved by children, and fond of music, are found in lonely corners of the downs, hacking at sandpits or tussocks of grass, and muttering in a blind, ungovernable fury elaborate maledictions which could not be extracted from them by robbery or murder. Men who would face torture without a word become blasphemous at the short fourteenth. It is clear that the game of golf may well be included in that category of intolerable provocations which may legally excuse or mitigate behavior not otherwise excusable.
People must not do things for fun. We are not here for fun. There is no reference to fun in any act of Parliament.

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