Quotes by J. P. Donleavy

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How do you feel today?    I feel ...

When you don't have any money, the problem is food, When you have money, it's sex. When you have both, its. It's health, If everything is simple, then you're frightened of death.

But Jesus, when you don't have any money, the problem is food. When you have money, it's sex. When you have both, it's health, you worry about getting ruptured or something. If everything is simply jake then you're frightened of death.
When I die I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Dublin.
Writing is turning one's worst moments into money.