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Thare are hotels that are a joy upon earth, where a man pays hiz bill az cheerfully az he did the parson who married him, whare yu kant find the landlord unless yu hunt in the kitchen, whare servants glide around like angels ov mercy, whare the beds fit a man's back like the feathers on a goose, and whare the vittle taste just az tho yure wife, or yure mother had fried them. Theze kind ov hotels ought tew be bilt on wheels and travel around the country; they are az phull ov real cumfort az a thanksgiving pudding, but alass! yes, alass! they are az unplenty az double-yelked eggs.

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Source Notes: "Hotels," The Complete Works of Josh Billings (1899).

A bit about Josh Billings ...

Humorist and lecturer Josh Billings

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