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Every man would suck his own penis if he could, but that’s why God gave every man except Jeff Stryker a penis shorter than his backbone - to make sure they expended an awful lot of energy doing other things to get blow jobs. Things that might seem to some rather daft and pointless otherwise, but without which the world would be a duller place - things such as rock ‘n’ roll, politics, cunnilingus, religion, and odd-jobs around the home.   Simpson, Mark

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