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Every man would suck his own penis if he could, but that’s why God gave every man except Jeff Stryker a penis shorter than his backbone - to make sure they expended an awful lot of energy doing other things to get blow jobs. Things that might seem to some rather daft and pointless otherwise, but without which the world would be a duller place - things such as rock ‘n’ roll, politics, cunnilingus, religion, and odd-jobs around the home.

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A bit about Mark Simpson ...

Mark Simpson is a British journalist, writer, and broadcaster specialising in pop culture, media, and masculinity. He has been described by one critic as "the skinhead Oscar Wilde". Simpson is a frequent commentator on British TV shows.

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I'm male, say nothing