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There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

Any landing you can walk away from is a good one.
A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer.
To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
Even though these technological advances originally sought to control information and bring order to the office, in many instances they have done just the opposite. The electronic office promised to reduce paper work and lessen work loads, but it has, in fact, generated more information that must sill be printed and -even more challenging-be assimilated. Since computers entered office systems, paper utilization has increased six-fold.
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.
What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.
If a job's worth doing, it's worth doing well.
From our ancestors come our names from our virtues our honor.
It is better to finish something than begin.
Lawyers and woodpeckers have long bills.
Where the law is uncertain there is no law.
Live today for tomorrow it will all be history.
Electronic aids, particularly domestic computers, will help the inner migration, the opting out of reality. Reality is no longer going to be the stuff out there, but the stuff inside your head. It's going to be commercial and nasty at the same time.
Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble-makers. The round heads in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status-quo. You can quote them. Disagree with them. Glorify, or vilify them. But the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world
Are the ones who do.
Only when the last tree has been cut down; Only when the last river has been poisoned; Only when the last fish has been caught; Only then will you find that money cannot be eaten.
Everything begins with an idea.
A new idea is like a child. It's easier to conceive than to deliver.
Understand that sexuality is as wide as the sea. Understand that your morality is not law. Understand that we are you. Understand that if we decide to have sex whether safe, safer, or unsafe, it is our decision and you have no rights in our lovemaking.
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned.
Certainty? In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes.
In these matters the only certainty is that there is nothing certain.
I see no reason why anyone would want a computer in their home.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
I have always wished for a computer that would be as easy to use as my telephone. My wish came true. I no longer know how to use my telephone.
To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer. Those who are serious in ridiculous matters will be ridiculous in serious matters.
A computer will not make a good manager out of a bad manager. It makes a good manager better faster and a bad manager worse faster.
If you don't know how to do something, you don't know how to do it with a computer.
And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow.
If I traveled to the end of the rainbow as Dame Fortune did intend, Murphy would be there to tell me the pot's at the other end.
These names: gay, queer, homosexual are limiting. I would love to finish with them. We're going to have to decide which terms to use and where we use them. For me to use the word queer is a liberation; it was a word that frightened me, but no longer.
The real death of America will come when everyone is alike.
Diversity: the art of thinking independently together.
Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired.
As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.
Wisdom is perishable. Unlike information or knowledge, it cannot be stored in a computer or recorded in a book. It expires with each passing generation.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creatures that cannot.
If there is a wrong way to do something, then someone will do it.
Our salvation is in striving to achieve what we know we'll never achieve.
The end is never as satisfying as the journey. To have achieved everything but to have done so without integrity and excitement is to have achieved nothing.
A distributed system is one in which the failure of a computer you didn't even know existed can render your own computer unusable.
Control over computing belongs with users.
Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all.
Nature recycles itself. History repeats itself. Religion has faith in itself. Technology creates itself. Humanity loves itself.
Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless.
I have not failed. I've just found 10, 000 ways that won't work.
The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around
Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.
In a mad world, only the mad are sane.
Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
Silicon Valley is like a person running around in front of a steamroller. You can outrun the steamroller on any given day. But if you ever sit down you get squashed.
Man is a slow, sloppy and brilliant thinker; the machine is fast, accurate and stupid.
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Never do anything standing that you can do sitting, or anything sitting that you can do lying down.
He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.
The great question is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure.
A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows the public opinion.
If your strength is small, don't carry heavy burdens. If your words are worthless, don't give advice.
The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
One of the most feared expressions in modern times is The computer is down
The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
Computers in the future will weigh no more than 1.5 tons. [Quoted in Popular Mechanics 1950]
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history -- with the possible exceptions of hand guns and tequila.
When asked what he would do if he only had six months to live: Type faster.
Science fiction writers foresee the inevitable, and although problems and catastrophes may be inevitable, solutions are not.
Self-education is, I firmly believe, the only kind of education there is.
Insanity is doing the same thing in the same way and expecting a different outcome.

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