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I’m a wonderful housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce I keep the house.

“Housewives” is a term I employ that means anybody who has ever had to clean up somebody else’s shit and not been paid for it ….
… one of the best gifts of the gods … a good, faithful housekeeper … But for this noble, self-sacrificing woman, much of my public work would have been quite impossible.
Re: the family maid: She used to come over and make tuna salad and we’d watch Let’s Make a Deal while my mom cleaned the house.
Viciousness in the kitchen! The potatoes hiss.
… there is something dangerous about being a housewife.
I have too many fantasies to be a housewife … I guess I am a fantasy.
It is certainly true that housekeeping cares bring with them a thousand endearing compensations. They are a woman’s peculiar joy, and women are apt to be light-hearted.
But I think women dwell quite a bit on the duress under which they work, on how hard it is just to do it at all. We are traditionally rather proud of ourselves for having slipped creative work in there between the domestic chores and obligations. I’m not sure we deserve such big A-pluses for all that.
Housekeeping ain’t no joke.
It is a proud moment in a woman’s life to reign supreme within four walls, to be the one to whom all questions of domestic pleasure and economy are referred.
I’m nine years behind in my ironing. I bury a lot in the backyard.
“Woman’s work! Housework’s the hardest work in the world. That’s why men won’t do it.”
Men such as him do not have to clean up the messes they make, but we have to clean up our own messes, and theirs into the bargain. In that way, they are like children, they do not have to think ahead, or worry about the consequences of what they do.
While civilization has been improving our houses, it has not equally improved the men who are to inhabit them.
A man in the house is worth two in the street.
A man builds a fine house; and now he has a master, and a task for life: he is to furnish, watch, show it, and keep it in repair, the rest of his days.
There was no loneliness in the living room. So it was a good part, and maybe the best part of the house.
It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.
The home was a closed sphere touched only at its edge by the world’s evolution.
We said there warn’t no home like a raft, after all. Other places do seem so cramped up and smothery, but a raft don’t. You feel mighty free and easy and comfortable on a raft.
I’ll dig in / into my days, having come here to live, not to visit. / Grey is the price / of neighboring with eagles, of knowing / a mountain’s vast presence, seen or unseen.
I can tell by your eye shadow, you’re from Brooklyn, right? … Me too. My mother has plastic covers on all the furniture. Even the poodle. Looked like a barking hassock walking down the street.
What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on?
The Indian … stands free and unconstrained in Nature, is her inhabitant and not her guest, and wears her easily and gracefully. But the civilized man has the habits of the house. His house is a prison.
No matter how dreary and gray our homes are, we people of flesh and blood would rather live there than in any other country, be it ever so beautiful. There is no place like home.
Work a lifetime to pay off a house—You finally own it and there’s nobody to live in it.
A house in which there are no people—but with all the signs of tenancy—can be a most tranquil good place.
You can’t learn everything you need to know legally.
Religions are different roads converging on the same point.
Art and religion first; then philosophy; lastly science. That is the order of the great subjects of life ….
Religion without humanity is a poor human stuff.
We’re a people of rainbow hues and multiple faiths. If that heritage has taught us nothing else by now, it should have taught us this: It’s ignorant to think you can judge a man’s soul by looking at his face.
The supreme reality of our time is our indivisibility as children of God and the common vulnerability of this planet.
If we value the pursuit of knowledge, we must be free to follow wherever that search may lead us. The free mind is not a barking dog, to be tethered on a ten-foot chain.
I’m not a fan of facts. You see, the facts can change, but my opinion will never change, no matter what the facts are.
No facts taught here are worth anything until students have assimilated them, correlated them, interpreted them. It is the student, not the bit of knowledge, that we are teaching.
… the lovely satisfying unity of things—the wedding of the thing learnt and the thing done—the great intellectual fulfillment.
Willie had left school after the ninth grade. He said there was really nothing more they could teach him. He knew how to read and write and reason. And from here on in, it was all propaganda.
There can be no education without leisure, and without leisure education is useless.
Don’t you believe ’em when they say that what you don’t know won’t hurt you. Biggest lie ever was. See it all and go your own way and nothing’ll hurt you. If what you see ain’t pretty, what’s the odds! See it anyway. Then next time you don’t have to look.
I won’t say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like “What I’m Going to Be If I Grow Up.”
College is something you complete. Life is something you experience.
Such ignorance. All the boys were in military schools and all the girls were in the convent, and that’s all you need to say about it.
You must train the children to their studies in a playful manner, and without any air of constraint, with the further object of discerning more readily the natural bent of their respective characters.
But were you to give up that impossible idea [of security] and focus on freedom, on connection, on compassion—I tell you, it’s a glorious life!
Sure he’s too much a gentleman to be a scholar.
A certain light was beginning to dawn dimly within her—the light which, showing the way, forbids it … but the beginning of things, of a world especially, is necessarily vague, tangled, chaotic, and exceedingly disturbing.
The people I’m furious with are the Women’s Liberationists. They keep getting up on soapboxes and proclaiming women are brighter than men. That’s true, but it should be kept quiet or it ruins the whole racket.
Man’s knowledge of things will begin to be matched by man’s knowledge of self. The significance of a smaller world will be measured not in terms of military advantage, but in terms of advantage for the human community. It will be the triumph of the heartbeat over the drumbeat.
Begin with that most terrifying of all things, a clean slate. And then look, every day, at the choices you are making and when you ask yourself why you are making them, find this answer: for me, for me.
My brain: it’s my second favorite organ.
I’ve got more brains in my little finger than I have in my entire head!
Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can’t see where it keeps its brain.
What the brain does by itself is infinitely more fascinating and complex than any response it can make to chemical stimulation.
My nephew is in high school. He’s a member of the abstinence society, where a group of students have pledged to maintain their virginity. We had something similar at my high school—it was called the math club.
Nothing would more effectively further the development of education than for all flogging pedagogues to learn to educate with the head instead of with the hand.
You don’t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things, like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman—stuff you pay good money for later in life.
Grant that I may be successful in molding one of my pupils into a perfect poem, and let me leave within her deepest-felt melody that she may sing for you when my lips shall sing no more.
True knowledge consists in knowing things, not words.
Religion, like water, may be free, but when they pipe it to you, you’ve got to help pay for the piping. And the piper!
Not everybody feels religion the same way. Some it’s in their mouth, but some it’s like a hope in their blood, their bones.
Now I ask you what is the impulse that comes from the possession of even the kindest heart compared to real faith in God and a hereafter. Without it one just plods on.
I have come to think that up and down the double helix of our DNA the molecules of faith and reason chatter away …. It is in our interest, as well as the interest of the world, that they remain on good speaking terms.
He wears his faith but as the fashion of his hat; it ever changes with the next block.
Sure there’s different roads from this to Dungarvan—some thinks one road pleasanter, and some think another; wouldn’t it be mighty foolish to quarrel for this?—and sure isn’t it twice worse to try to interfere with people for choosing the road they like best to heaven?
Anyhow, I say, the God I been praying and writing to is a man. And act just like all the other mens I know. Trifling, forgetful [sic], and lowdown.
Do not judge the gods, young man, they have painful secrets.
I have a warm personal relationship with God; I often picture her smiling wryly and saying, in the words of Shakespeare’s Puck, “Lord, what fools these mortals be!”
Watch out for people who call themselves religious; make sure you know what they mean—make sure they know what they mean!
The effect of the consolations of religion may be compared to that of a narcotic.
We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.
Christmas won’t be Christmas without any presents.
Christmas to a child is the first terrible proof that to travel hopefully is better than to arrive.
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.
“Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store.” / “Maybe Christmas … perhaps … means a little bit more!”
… I watched the tall plain trees that ring three sides of it being pruned in what seemed a crazily brutal way …. Then, magically, for Christmas Eve and the formal opening with its speeches and music, the tall trees turned into arbres de Noel, twinkling with thousands of little lights the color of champagne.
I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
For Thanksgiving last year I made a seventeen-pound turkey … pot pie.
Embarrassing moment for President Bush today. He called the pope to wish him a happy Passover.
Re: Jewish holidays: My mother, my aunts, my own grandmothers float back to me, young and vibrant once more, making days holy in the sanctuaries of their kitchens, feeding me, cradling me, connecting me to the intricately plaited braid of their past ….
New Year’s Eve, when old acquaintances be forgot. Unless, of course, the tests come back positive.
The only way to spend New Year’s Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel.
May I join you in the doghouse, Rover? / I wish to retire till the party’s over.
… the little festive atmosphere of strangeness, of excitement, that only a holiday bedroom brings. This is ours for the moment, but no more. While we are in it, we bring it life. When we have gone, it no longer exists, it fades into anonymity.
A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.
When I was One, / I had just begun. / When I was Two, / I was nearly new. / When I was Three / I was hardly me. / When I was Four, / I was not much more. / When I was Five, I was just alive. / But now I am Six, I’m as clever as clever, / So I think I’ll be six now for ever and ever.
Children were pretty things at three years old; but began to be great plagues at six, and were quite intolerable at ten.
O Adolescence, O Adolescence / I wince before thine incandescence ….
When you are seventeen you aren’t really serious.
In this country, some people start being miserable about growing old while they are still young.
Oh, my God. I’ve just told you how old I am. Nobody knows how old I am. I’m going to have to kill you now.
Towering is the confidence of twenty-one.
But it’s hard to be hip over thirty / When everyone else is nineteen.
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
I was thirty-seven years old and still discovering who I was.
I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.
At twenty, a man feels awfully aged and blasé; at thirty, almost senile; at forty, “not so old”; and at fifty, positively skittish.
The world’s anguish is caused by people between twenty and forty.
Youth is something very new: twenty years ago no one mentioned it.
No hanky, no panky. At my age, foreplay is brushing my teeth … when I can remember where I put ’em.
You know you’re getting old, when your back starts going out more than you do.
You are young, and then you are middle-aged, but it is hard to tell the moment of passage from one state to the next.
“Maturity,” Bokonon tells us, “is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything.”
You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, “See if you can blow this out.”
Perhaps middle-age is, or should be, a period of shedding shells; the shell of ambition, the shell of material accumulations and possessions, the shell of the ego.
Who would return to the youth he is forever pretending to regret?
Was it for this I uttered prayers, / And sobbed and cursed and kicked the stairs, / That now, domestic as a plate, / I should retire at half-past eight?
Old is always 15 years from now.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up, and finally you forget to pull it down.
The muddle of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young.
Old age isn’t a battle. Old age is a massacre.
I don’t need you to remind me of my age, I have a bladder to do that for me.
I’ll soon be sixty. And at a certain point, the definition of young is anyone who is a year younger than you are.
It feels great to be 95. I mean, for those parts of me that still have feeling.
… old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you’re aboard, there’s nothing you can do. You can’t stop the plane, you can’t stop the storm, you can’t stop time. So one might as well accept it calmly, wisely.
Every man desires to live long, but no man would be old.
The greatest problem about old age is the fear that it might go on too long.
A man’s years should not be counted until he has nothing else to count.
Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.
Few envy the consideration enjoyed by the oldest inhabitant.
I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
A good education is not so much one which prepares a man to succeed in the world, as one which enables him to sustain a failure.
Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a certain poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself … because it’s only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you realize your true potential.
Constant effort and frequent mistakes are the stepping stones of genius.
If my brothers saw me writing poems, they’d call me a queer and then it’d be all over school and I’d have to fight my way home every day. You know, most guys think you’re a sissy if you like this stuff.
Curiosity is not a sin …. But we should exercise caution with our curiosity … yes, indeed.
It is often easier to fight for principles than to live up to them.
He says a learned woman is the greatest of all calamities.
It is nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of instruction have not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry ….
Certainly the prolonged education indispensable to the progress of Society is not natural to mankind.
Education is in danger of becoming a religion based on fear; its doctrine is to compete.
Education is our passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it today.
You can use a hammer to build with or you can use a hammer to destroy.
Service means you get as well as you give, your life is changed as you change the lives of others … it is the way we find meaning in our lives, both individually and collectively.
Say not, “When I have free time I shall study”; for you may perhaps never have any free time.
You will find that the truth is often unpopular and the contest between agreeable fancy and disagreeable fact is unequal. For, in the vernacular, we Americans are suckers for good news.
Education is that which remains if one has forgotten everything else he learned in school
When I was in high school, I was in the French club. We didn’t really do anything. Once in a while, we’d surrender to the German club.
Anyone who would attempt the task of felling a virgin forest with a penknife would probably feel the same paralysis of despair that the reformer feels when confronted with existing school systems.
When a child enters the world through you, it alters everything on a psychic, psychological and purely practical level. You’re just not free anymore to do what you want to do. And it’s not the same again. Ever.
A mother’s life, you see, is one long succession of dramas, now soft and tender, now terrible. Not an hour but has its joys and fears.
Of course, everybody knows that the greatest thing about Motherhood is the “Sacrifices,” but it is quite a shock to find out that they begin so far ahead of time.
Being a mother is a noble status, right? Right. So why does it change when you put “unwed” or “welfare” in front of it?
My breasts have fed three children, nurtured and sustained their bodies and built them up in twelve ways. If they wanna lay down after that, by god they deserve the rest.
It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.
Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always explaining things to them.
I supposed I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas, but what I decided to do is fulfill my profession.
Always obey your parents, when they are present.
If men started taking care of children, the job will become more valuable.

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