"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."

Lincoln, Abraham on Humor
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"Tea, though ridiculed by those who are naturally coarse in their nervous sensibilities will always be the favorite beverage of the intellectual."

Quincey, Thomas De on Tea
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"Those Romans who perpetrated the rape of the Sabines, for example, did not work themselves up for the deed by screening Debbie Does Dallas, and the monkish types who burned a million or so witches in the Middle Ages had almost certainly not come across Boobs and Buns or related periodicals."

Ehrenreich, Barbara on Pornography
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"Maybe a nation that consumes as much booze and dope as we do and has our kind of divorce statistics should pipe down about character issues. Either that or just go ahead and determine the presidency with three-legged races and pie-eating contests. It would make better TV."

O'Rourke, P. J. on Elections
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