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They sicken at the calm that know the storm.

Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
Razors pain you; rivers are damp; acids stain you; and drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful; nooses give; gas smells awful; you might as well live.
All those writers who write about their childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me.
She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.
Drink, and dance and laugh and lie, love the reeling midnight through, for tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)
Enjoyed it! One more drink and I'd have been under the host.
He [Robert Benchley] and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery.
Scratch a lover, and find a foe.
Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch is, and it darts away.
I shall stay the way I am because I do not give a damn.
You can lead a whore to culture but you can't make her think.
Gratitude -- the meanest and most sniveling attribute in the world.
I don't care what anybody says about me as long as it isn't true.
Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.
The two most beautiful words in the English language are: Check Enclosed.

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