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When someone is going downhill everyone likes to give them a kick.

Do you know what happens when you give a procrastinator a good idea? Nothing!
The wise does at once what the fool does at last.
Putting off an easy thing makes it hard, and putting off a hard one makes it impossible.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
Procrastination is my sin. It brings me naught but sorrow. I know that I should stop it. In fact, I will--tomorrow!
Manana is often the busiest day of the week.
It's the job that's never started takes longest to finish.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
When a man does a household job, he goes through three periods: contemplating how it will be done; contemplating when it will be done; and contemplating.
If you wish for peace be ready for war.
Better to be known as a sinner than a hypocrite.
The hardest work of all is to do nothing.
By doing nothing we learn to do ill.
No one is as angry as the person who is wrong.
Luck is the idol of the idle.
The multitude of fools is a protection to the wise.
The voice of the majority is no proof of justice.
Nothing is so contemptible as the sentiments of the mob.
Quackery has no friend like gullibility.
Why is it that we rejoice at birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
If you have nothing to say, say nothing.
We need not worry so much about what man descends from; it's what he descends to that shames the human race.
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.
I never could tell a lie that anybody would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.
Never do wrong when people are looking.
Temperate temperance is best; intemperate temperance injures the cause of temperance.
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
Heaven goes by favor; if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
History is strewn thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill, but a lie, well told, is immortal.
Honesty is the best policy -- when there is money in it.
Man is a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
Such is the human race. Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made School Boards.
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -- you see, I have friends in both places.
Six feet of earth make all men equal.
A man has free choice to the extent that he is rational.
Reason is emotion for the sexless.
Wise men learn many things from their enemies.
Education is the best provision for old age.
The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet.
They that will not apply new remedies must expect new evils.
Take the world as it is, not as it ought to be.
If you live in the river you should make friends with the crocodile.
To listen to some devout people, one would imagine that God never laughs.
What preoccupies us, then, is not God as a fact of nature, but as a fabrication useful for a God-fearing society. God himself becomes not a power but an image.
Never try to reason the prejudice out of a man. It was not reasoned into him, and cannot be reasoned out.
Most of our so-called reasoning consists in finding arguments for going on believing as we already do.
Most men seem to live according to sense rather than reason.
If you follow reason far enough it always leads to conclusions that are contrary to reason.
A person usually has two reasons for doing something: a good reason and the real reason.
He that will not reason is a bigot; he that cannot reason is a fool; and he that dares not reason is a slave.
Neither great poverty nor great riches will hear reason.
Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.
Reason is a whore, the greatest enemy that faith has.
He who has a strong enough why can bear almost any how.
Most of us, when all is said and done, like what we like and make up reasons for it afterwards.
Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
As you know, God is generally on the side of the big squadrons against the small ones.
When I was young, I said to God, god, tell me the mystery of the universe. But God answered, that knowledge is for me alone. So I said, god, tell me the mystery of the peanut. Then God said, well, George, that's more nearly your size.
Man is the inventor of stupidity.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Against stupidity; God Himself is helpless.
The greatest of all sins is stupidity.
The only thing that ever consoles man for the stupid things he does is the praise he always gives himself for doing them.
No man ever listened himself out of a job.
What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.
The more you know the less you need to say.
First deserve then desire.
We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.
He's a fool that makes his doctor his heir.
God does not play dice with the universe.
God hath entrusted me with myself.
The God of this world is riches, pleasure and pride.
If triangles made a god, they would give him three sides.
Is man one of God's blunders or is God one of man's blunders?
It is fear that first brought gods into the world.
If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent Him.
To be clever enough to get all the money, one must be stupid enough to want it.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
Talk well of your friends and of your enemies say nothing.

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