"I always wake up at the crack of ice."

Lewis, Joe E. on alcohol and alcoholism   

"I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin."

Lewis, Joe E. on alcohol and alcoholism
3 fans of this quote   

"A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on."

Lewis, Joe E. on alcohol and alcoholism   

"I drink to forget I drink."

Lewis, Joe E. on alcohol and alcoholism
4 fans of this quote   

"If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt."

Martin, Dean on alcohol and alcoholism   

"A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn't care to drink with, even if he drank."

Mencken, H. L. on alcohol and alcoholism   

"I do not live in the world of sobriety."

Reed, Oliver on alcohol and alcoholism   

"The words Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, which I saw on an Italian movie poster, are perhaps the briefest statement imaginable of the basic appeal of movies. This appeal is what attracts us, and ultimately what makes us despair when we begin to understand how seldom movies are more than this."

Kael, Pauline on cinema   

"I'm an atheist and I thank God for it."

Shaw, George Bernard on atheism
6 fans of this quote   

"The big mistake that men make is that when they turn thirteen or fourteen and all of a sudden they've reached puberty, they believe that they like women. Actually, you're just horny. It doesn't mean you like women any more at twenty-one than you did at ten."

Feiffer, Jules on adolescence
8 fans of this quote   

"The movies today are too rich to have any room for genuine artists. They produce a few passable craftsmen, but no artists. Can you imagine a Beethoven making $100, 000 a year?"

Mencken, H. L. on cinema   

"One of the joys of going to the movies was that it was trashy, and we should never lose that."

Stone, Oliver on cinema   

"All film directors, whether famous or obscure, regard themselves as misunderstood or underrated. Because of that, they all lie. They're obliged to overstate their own importance."

Truffaut, Francois on cinema   

"People sometimes say that the way things happen in the movies is unreal, but actually it's the way things happen to you in life that's unreal. The movies make emotions look so strong and real, whereas when things really do happen to you, it's like watching television -- you don't feel anything."

Warhol, Andy on cinema
5 fans of this quote   

"The director is simply the audience. So the terrible burden of the director is to take the place of that yawning vacuum, to be the audience and to select from what happens during the day which movement shall be a disaster and which a gala night. His job is to preside over accidents."

Welles, Orson on cinema   

"We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion."

Allen, Fred A. on comedy and comedians   

"I think being funny is not anyone's first choice."

Allen, Woody on comedy and comedians
4 fans of this quote   

"All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl."

Chaplin, Charlie on comedy and comedians   

"Charlie Chaplin's genius was in comedy. He has no sense of humor, particularly about himself."

Chaplin, Lita Grey on comedy and comedians   

"The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth."

Nathan, George Jean on comedy and comedians   

"I always loved comedy, but I never knew it was something you could learn to do. I always thought that some people are born comedians ... just like some people are born dentists."

Reiser, Paul on comedy and comedians   

"My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy."

Rivers, Joan on comedy and comedians   

"The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel."

Thurber, James on comedy and comedians   

"A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something."

Capra, Frank on creativity
4 fans of this quote   

"The creative urge is the demon that will not accept anything second rate."

Mille, Agnes De on creativity   

"Creation is a drug I can't do without."

Mille, Cecil B. De on creativity   

"For me, the cinema is not a slice of life, but a piece of cake."

Hitchcock, Alfred on cinema   

"Dialogue should simply be a sound among other sounds, just something that comes out of the mouths of people whose eyes tell the story in visual terms."

Hitchcock, Alfred on cinema   

"I discovered early in my movie work that a movie is never any better than the stupidest man connected with it. There are times when this distinction may be given to the writer or director. Most often it belongs to the producer."

Hecht, Ben on cinema   

"Every crowd has a silver lining."

Barnum, P.T. on audiences   

"I never let them cough. They wouldn't dare."

Barrymore, Ethel on audiences   

"I'm not here for your amusement. You're here for mine."

Rotten, John Lydon on audiences   

"Never treat your audience as customers, always as partners."

Stewart, Jimmy on audiences
4 fans of this quote   

"An audience is never wrong. An individual member of it may be an imbecile, but a thousand imbeciles together in the dark -- that is critical genius."

Wilder, Billy on audiences   

"I'm not ugly, but my beauty is a total creation."

Banks, Tyra on beauty
6 fans of this quote   

"Contraceptives should be used on all conceivable occasions."

Milligan, Spike on birth control   

"I'm the end of the line; absurd and appalling as it may seem, serious New York theater has died in my lifetime."

Miller, Arthur on broadway   

"You can cage the singer but not the song."

Belafonte, Harry on censorship
6 fans of this quote   

"Instead of asking -- How much damage will the work in question bring about? why not ask -- How much good? How much joy?"

Miller, Henry on censorship
4 fans of this quote   

"Censorship ends in logical completeness when nobody is allowed to read any books except the books nobody reads."

Shaw, George Bernard on censorship
5 fans of this quote