"Comedy is a tragedy plus time."

Burnett, Carol on humor
5 fans of this quote   

"All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I'd be standing on the breadline right in back of J. Edgar Hoover."

Bruce, Lenny on humor   

"Humor is just another defense against the universe."

Brooks, Mel on humor   

"The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven."

Twain, Mark on humor
9 fans of this quote   

"A person who knows how to laugh at himself will never ceased to be amused."

Maclaine, Shirley on humor
3 fans of this quote   

"The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes."

Wilde, Oscar on husbands
7 fans of this quote   

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"From the moment I liberated Brigitte, the moment I showed her how to be truly herself, our marriage was all downhill."

Vadim, Roger on husbands   

"Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient."

Mencken, H. L. on husbands   

"Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him."

Mencken, H. L. on husbands   

"Husbands are like fires. They go out when unattended."

Gabor, Zsa Zsa on husbands   

"I've never yet met a man who could look after me. I don't need a husband. What I need is a wife."

Collins, Joan on husbands   

"No man worth his salt, no man of spirit and spine, no man for whom I could have any respect, could rejoice in the identification of Tallulah's husband. It's tough enough to be bogged down in a legend. It would be even tougher to marry one."

Bankhead, Tallulah on husbands   

"Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room."

Diller, Phyllis on humor
3 fans of this quote   

"Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is."

Martin, Steve on humor
5 fans of this quote   

"Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth."

Borge, Victor on humor
7 fans of this quote   

"Marriage is the death of hope."

Allen, Woody on marriage
14 fans of this quote   

"The monster of advertisement... is a sort of octopus with innumerable tentacles. It throws out to right and left, in front and behind, its clammy arms, and gathers in, through its thousand little suckers, all the gossip and slander and praise afloat, to spit out again at the public."

Bernhardt, Sarah on publicity   

"I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate."

Burns, George on passion
20 fans of this quote   

"Moral passion without entertainment is propaganda, and entertainment without moral passion is television."

Brown, Rita Mae on passion   

"Create your own method. Don't depend slavishly on mine. Make up something that will work for you! But keep breaking traditions, I beg you."

Stanislavisky, Konstantin on originality   

"When a work appears to be ahead of its time, it is only the time that is behind the work."

Cocteau, Jean on originality
4 fans of this quote   

"It's been very important throughout my career that I've met all the guys I've copied, because at each stage they've said, Don't play like me, play like you."

Clapton, Eric on originality   

"I think one of the reasons I'm popular again is because I'm wearing a tie. You have to be different."

Bennett, Tony on originality   

"ORIGINALITY is unexplored territory. You get there by carrying a canoe -- you can't take a taxi."

Alda, Alan on originality
3 fans of this quote   

"Opera in English, is about as sensible as baseball in Italian."

Mencken, H. L. on opera   

"When you get the personality, you don't need the nudity."

West, Mae on nudity
4 fans of this quote   

"My passions were all gathered together like fingers that made a fist. Drive is considered aggression today; I knew it then as purpose."

Davis, Bette on passion   

"There is no end. There is no beginning. There is only the infinite passion of life."

Fellini, Frederico on passion
7 fans of this quote   

"There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary."

Behan, Brendan F. on publicity   

"No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal."

Cosby, Bill on parents and parenting
4 fans of this quote   

"A pessimist is one who builds dungeons in the air."

Winchell, Walter on pessimism
3 fans of this quote   

"I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half-empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth."

Garofalo, Janeane on pessimism
8 fans of this quote   

"I don't believe in pessimism. If something doesn't come up the way you want, forge ahead. If you think it's going to rain, it will."

Eastwood, Clint on pessimism   

"The most prolific period of pessimism comes at twenty-one or thereabouts, when the first attempt is made to translate dreams into reality."

Broun, Heywood on pessimism
3 fans of this quote   

"It's true Heaven forbids some pleasures, but a compromise can usually be found."

Moliere on pleasure   

"Pleasure that isn't paid for is as insipid as everything else that's free."

Loos, Anita on pleasure   

"What is originality? Undetected plagiarism."

Inge, Dean William R. on plagiarism
7 fans of this quote   

"My advice to those who think they have to take off their clothes to be a star is, once you're boned, what's left to create the illusion? Let em wonder. I never believed in giving them too much of me."

West, Mae on nudity
4 fans of this quote   

"I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do today."

Rogers, Will on nudity   

"I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom."

Barrymore, John on marriage