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I felt sorry for myself because I had no shoes -- until I met a man who had no feet.

Zen does not confuse spirituality with thinking about God while one is peeling potatoes. Zen spirituality is just to peel the potatoes.
Never learn to do anything. If you don't learn, you will always find someone else to do it for you.
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
I would rather have my ignorance than another man's knowledge, because I have so much of it.
In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made School Boards.
Man is a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
To stop smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know; I've done it a thousand times.
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without bursting one's clothes.
Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than Methuselah saw in his whole lifetime.
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
When I am right, I get angry. Churchill gets angry when he is wrong. So we were often angry at each other.

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