"The funniest line in English is Get it? When you say that, everyone chortles."

Keillor, Garrison on jokes and jokers
3 fans of this quote   

"Nobody who ever gave his best regretted it."

Halas, George on regret
3 fans of this quote   

"Thankfulness is the beginning of gratitude. Gratitude is the completion of thankfulness. Thankfulness may consist merely of words. Gratitude is shown in acts."

Amiel, Henri Frederic on appreciation
16 fans of this quote   

"You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him."

Aikman, Leo on action
42 fans of this quote   

"A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song."

Angelou, Maya on action
48 fans of this quote   

"For the things we have to learn before we can do them, we learn by doing them."

Aristotle on action
11 fans of this quote   

"All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, desire."

Aristotle on action
16 fans of this quote   

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."

Twain, Mark on gratitude
21 fans of this quote   

"There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one: keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy."

Twain, Mark on happiness
5 fans of this quote   

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."

Twain, Mark on health
10 fans of this quote   

"The way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."

Twain, Mark on health
12 fans of this quote   

"Heaven goes by favor; if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in."

Twain, Mark on heaven
10 fans of this quote   

"It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them."

Twain, Mark on honor
8 fans of this quote   

"Let us consider that we are all partially insane. It will explain us to each other; it will unriddle many riddles; it will make clear and simple many things which are involved in haunting and harassing difficulties and obscurities now."

Twain, Mark on insanity
9 fans of this quote   

"When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."

Twain, Mark on insanity
10 fans of this quote   

"In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to correct that."

Twain, Mark on journalism and journalists
6 fans of this quote   

"The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things that ain't so."

Twain, Mark on knowledge
10 fans of this quote   

"The human race has but one really affective weapon, and that is laughter."

Twain, Mark on laughter
8 fans of this quote   

"Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least."

Twain, Mark on laughter
8 fans of this quote   

"Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand."

Twain, Mark on laughter
9 fans of this quote   

"Music is the movement of sound to reach the soul for the education of its virtue."

Plato on music
6 fans of this quote   

"Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody."

Twain, Mark on alcohol and alcoholism
4 fans of this quote   

"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old."

Twain, Mark on age and aging
9 fans of this quote   

"I did not attend his funeral; but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved of it. [About a politician who had recently died]"

Twain, Mark on funerals
8 fans of this quote   

"Friendship is to be purchased only by friendship. A man may have authority over others, but he can never have their hearts but by giving his own."

Wilson, Thomas on friends and friendship
19 fans of this quote   

"If you can walk you can dance. If you can talk you can sing."

Proverb, Zimbabwe on music
9 fans of this quote   

"Give me a laundry list and I'll set it to music."

Rossini, Gioacchino Antonio on music   

"Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry."

Twain, Mark on death
49 fans of this quote   

"I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want."

Twain, Mark on desire
39 fans of this quote   

"Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."

Twain, Mark on education
10 fans of this quote   

"The first half of life consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance; the last half consists of the chance without the capacity."

Twain, Mark on joy
15 fans of this quote   

"There is nothing so annoying as a good example!!"

Twain, Mark on example
26 fans of this quote   

"We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it -- and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again -- and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore."

Twain, Mark on experience
13 fans of this quote   

"Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with."

Twain, Mark on friends and friendship
20 fans of this quote   

"Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."

Twain, Mark on forgiveness
13 fans of this quote   

"Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood. It means forget inconvenient duties, then forgive yourself for forgetting. By rigid practice and stern determination, it comes easy."

Twain, Mark on forgiveness
13 fans of this quote   

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

Twain, Mark on fools and foolishness
48 fans of this quote   

"I was young and foolish then; now I am old and foolisher."

Twain, Mark on fools and foolishness
30 fans of this quote   

"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please."

Twain, Mark on facts
43 fans of this quote   

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."

Twain, Mark on education
53 fans of this quote