Billings, Josh Quotes
Humorist and lecturer Josh Billings · Can we improve this biography or this incorrect? Post your comments or consult wikipedia
"Advice is like castor oil, easy to give, but dreadful to take."
Billings, Josh on Advice
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"I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else."
Billings, Josh on Age and Aging
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"In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us."
Billings, Josh on Age and Aging
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"Always live within your income, even if you have to borrow money to do so."
Billings, Josh on Debt
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"Never run into debt, not if you can find anything else to run into."
Billings, Josh on Debt
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"There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying."
Billings, Josh on Exaggeration
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"Experience is a school where a man learns what a big fool he has been."
Billings, Josh on Experience
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"Experience increases our wisdom but doesn't reduce our follies."
Billings, Josh on Experience
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"Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed."
Billings, Josh on Flattery
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"There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won t."
Billings, Josh on Fools and Foolishness
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"Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit."
Billings, Josh on Fools and Foolishness
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"The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his way."
Billings, Josh on Fools and Foolishness
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"There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness."
Billings, Josh on Forgiveness
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"A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates."
Billings, Josh on Friends and Friendship
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"A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug."
Billings, Josh on Happiness
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"Incredulity is the wisdom of the fool."
Billings, Josh on Incredulity
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"I honestly believe it is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so."
Billings, Josh on Knowledge
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"Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves."
Billings, Josh on Knowledge
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"The trouble with most folks ain't so much their ignorance as knowing so many things that ain't so."
Billings, Josh on Knowledge
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"Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined."
Billings, Josh on Life and Living
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"Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well."
Billings, Josh on Life and Living
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"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself."
Billings, Josh on Animals
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"The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear."
Billings, Josh on Anxiety
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"As a general thing, when the woman wears the pants in the family, she has a good right to them."
Billings, Josh on Marriage
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"The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord it ain't the gout."
Billings, Josh on Medicine
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"Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got."
Billings, Josh on Men and Women
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"Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel."
Billings, Josh on Mother-in-Laws
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"Music hath the charm to soothe a savage beast, but I'd try a revolver first."
Billings, Josh on Music
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