"There are worse occupations in this world than feeling a woman's pulse."

Sterne, Laurence on Doctors
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"So long as a man rides his Hobby-Horse peaceably and quietly along the King's highway, and neither compels you or me to get up behind him -- pray, Sir, what have either you or I to do with it?"

Sterne, Laurence on Eccentricity
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"Only the brave know how to forgive; it is the most refined and generous pitch of virtue human nature can arrive at."

Sterne, Laurence on Forgiveness
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"Nothing is so perfectly amusing as a total change of ideas."

Sterne, Laurence on Amusement
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"The history of a soldier's wound beguiles the pain of it."

Sterne, Laurence on Anecdotes
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"People who overly take care of their health are like misers. They hoard up a treasure which they never enjoy."

Sterne, Laurence on Health
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"For every ten jokes you acquire a hundred enemies."

Sterne, Laurence on Humor
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"'Tis no extravagant arithmetic to say, that for every ten jokes, thou hast got an hundred enemies; and till thou hast gone on, and raised a swarm of wasps about thine ears, and art half stung to death by them, thou wilt never be convinced it is so."

Sterne, Laurence on Jokes and Jokers
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"All womankind, from the highest to the lowest love jokes; the difficulty is to know how they choose to have them cut; and there is no knowing that, but by trying, as we do with our artillery in the field, by raising or letting down their breeches, till we hit the mark."

Sterne, Laurence on Jokes and Jokers
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"The desire of knowledge, like the thirst for riches, increases ever with the acquisition of it."

Sterne, Laurence on Knowledge
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"I am persuaded that every time a man smiles, but much more so when he laughs, it adds something to this fragment of life."

Sterne, Laurence on Laughter
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"Pain and pleasure, like light and darkness, succeed each other."

Sterne, Laurence on Pain
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"I wish either my father or my mother, or indeed both of them, as they were in duty both equally bound to it, had minded what they were about when they begot me."

Sterne, Laurence on Parents and Parenting
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"First, whenever a man talks loudly against religion, always suspect that it is not his reason, but his passions, which have got the better of his creed. A bad life and a good belief are disagreeable and troublesome neighbors, and where they separate, depend upon it, 'Tis for no other cause but quietness sake."

Sterne, Laurence on Atheism
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"When ever a person talks loudly against religion, always suspect that it is not their reason, but their passions, which have got the better of their beliefs. A bad life and a good belief are disagreeable and troublesome neighbors; and when they separate, depend on it that it is for the sake of peace and quiet."

Sterne, Laurence on Atheism
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"Men tire themselves in pursuit of rest."

Sterne, Laurence on Pursuit
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"Our passion and principles are constantly in a frenzy, but begin to shift and waver, as we return to reason."

Sterne, Laurence on Reason
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"Respect for ourselves guides our morals, respect for others guides our manners."

Sterne, Laurence on Respectability
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"In solitude the mind gains strength and learns to lean upon itself."

Sterne, Laurence on Solitude
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"Digressions, incontestably, are the sunshine; they are the life, the soul of reading! Take them out of this book, for instance, --you might as well take the book along with them; --one cold external winter would reign in every page of it; restore them to the writer; --he steps forth like a bridegroom, --bids All-hail; brings in variety, and forbids the appetite to fail."

Sterne, Laurence on Books - Reading
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"One may as well be asleep as to read for anything but to improve his mind and morals, and regulate his conduct."

Sterne, Laurence on Books - Reading
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"Positiveness is an absurd foible. If you are in the right, it lessens your triumph; if in the wrong, it adds shame to your defeat."

Sterne, Laurence on Certainty
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"Lessons of wisdom have the most power over us when they capture the heart through the groundwork of a story, which engages the passions."

Sterne, Laurence on Teachers and Teaching
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"A large volume of adventures may be grasped within this little span of life, by him who interests his heart in everything."

Sterne, Laurence on Adventure
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"We lose the right of complaining sometimes, by denying something, but this often triples its force."

Sterne, Laurence on Complaints and Complaining
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"Of all the cants which are canted in this canting world -- though the cant of hypocrites may be the worst -- the cant of criticism is the most tormenting!"

Sterne, Laurence on Critics and Criticism
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