"The harder you fall, the higher you bounce."

Horton, Doug on Adversity
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"Growing old is not growing up."

Horton, Doug on Age and Aging
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"Desperation is like stealing from the Mafia: you stand a good chance of attracting the wrong attention."

Horton, Doug on Desperation
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"Change occurs in direct proportion to dissatisfaction, but dissatisfaction never changes."

Horton, Doug on Dissatisfaction
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"Drive slow and enjoy the scenery -- drive fast and join the scenery."

Horton, Doug on Drivers and Driving
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"First rule of Economics 101: our desires are insatiable. Second rule: we can stomach only three Big Macs at a time."

Horton, Doug on Economy and Economics
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"If it looks like shit, smells like shit, mail it to your enemy... he'll know what to do with it."

Horton, Doug on Enemies
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"Action cures fear, inaction creates terror."

Horton, Doug on Fear
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"Remember only the good, the bad will never forget you."

Horton, Doug on Good and Evil
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"There is no bad in good."

Horton, Doug on Good and Evil
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"To hit bottom is to fall from grace."

Horton, Doug on Grace
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"To buy happiness is to sell soul."

Horton, Doug on Happiness
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"It's not a question of happiness, it's a requirement. Consider the alternative."

Horton, Doug on Happiness
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"Happiness in the present is only shattered by comparison with the past."

Horton, Doug on Happiness
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"As the fly bangs against the window attempting freedom while the door stands open, so we bang against death ignoring heaven."

Horton, Doug on Heaven
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"If the destination is heaven, why do we scramble to be first in line for hell?"

Horton, Doug on Heaven
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"The key to heaven's gate cannot be duplicated."

Horton, Doug on Heaven
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"Be your own hero, it's cheaper than a movie ticket."

Horton, Doug on Heroes and Heroism
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"Good ideas are a dime a dozen, bad ones are free."

Horton, Doug on Ideas
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"Love is seeing without eyes, hearing without ears; hatred is nothing."

Horton, Doug on Love
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"If you love something let it go free. If it doesn't come back, you never had it. If it comes back, love it forever."

Horton, Doug on Love
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"Love is a given, hatred is acquired."

Horton, Doug on Love
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"Materialism is the only form of distraction from true bliss."

Horton, Doug on Materialism
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"Search for meaning, eat, sleep. Search for meaning, eat, sleep. Die, search for meaning, search for meaning, search for meaning."

Horton, Doug on Meaning of Life
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"We may not always get what we want, but surely we will get what we deserve."

Horton, Doug on Merit
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"Money is good, love is wealth."

Horton, Doug on Money
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"Perfection is perfectly simple; fouling things up requires true skill."

Horton, Doug on Perfection
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"Why ask why? If it's raining it just is."

Horton, Doug on Questions
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"While seeking revenge, dig two graves -- one for yourself."

Horton, Doug on Revenge
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"Born a saint, die a sinner -- born a sinner, die a saint."

Horton, Doug on Saints
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"Being sorry is the highest act of selfishness, seeing value only after discarding it."

Horton, Doug on Selfishness
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"The art of simplicity is a puzzle of complexity."

Horton, Doug on Simplicity
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"Smile, it's free therapy."

Horton, Doug on Smile
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"Smile, it's better than a poke in the eye."

Horton, Doug on Smile
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"Beauty is variable, ugliness is constant."

Horton, Doug on Beauty
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"We are all serving a life sentence, and good behavior is our only hope for a pardon."

Horton, Doug on Behavior
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"Born to be wild -- live to outgrow it."

Horton, Doug on Birth
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"Boring people are a reflection of boring people."

Horton, Doug on Bores and Boredom
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"When all is lost, ask the I.R.S. -- they'll find something."

Horton, Doug on Taxes and Taxation
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"Thoughts are the gun, words are the bullets, deeds are the target, the bulls-eye is heaven."

Horton, Doug on Thoughts and Thinking
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