"Down went the owners -- greedy men whom hope of gain allured: oh, dry the starting tear, for they were heavily insured."

Gilbert, W. S. on Disasters
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"The idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone, All centuries but this, and every country but his own."

Gilbert, W. S. on Dissatisfaction
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"I always voted at my party's call, and I never thought of thinking for myself at all."

Gilbert, W. S. on Elections
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"Darwinian man, though well-behaved, at best is only a monkey shaved."

Gilbert, W. S. on Evolution
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"Matrimonial devotion doesn't seem to suit her notion."

Gilbert, W. S. on Fidelity
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"It isn't so much what's on the table that matters, as what's on the chairs."

Gilbert, W. S. on Food and Eating
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"In enterprise of martial kind, when there was any fighting, he led his regiment from behind -- he found it less exciting."

Gilbert, W. S. on Generals
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"I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell you that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule."

Gilbert, W. S. on Ancestry
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"You have no idea what a poor opinion I have of myself; and how little I deserve it."

Gilbert, W. S. on Inferiority
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"Things are seldom what they seem."

Gilbert, W. S. on Appearance
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"No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have; and I think he's a dirty little beast."

Gilbert, W. S. on Opinions
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"I love my fellow creatures -- I do all the good I can -- yet everybody says I'm such a disagreeable man!"

Gilbert, W. S. on Philanthropists
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"My family pride is something inconceivable. I can't help it. I was born sneering."

Gilbert, W. S. on Pride
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