"Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water."

Fields, W. C. on Abstinence
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"I never vote for anyone. I always vote against."

Fields, W. C. on Elections
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"I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming."

Fields, W. C. on Alcohol and Alcoholism
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"I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes."

Fields, W. C. on Alcohol and Alcoholism
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"You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it."

Fields, W. C. on Alcohol and Alcoholism
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"It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it."

Fields, W. C. on Alcohol and Alcoholism
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"The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart."

Fields, W. C. on Alcohol and Alcoholism
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"Somebody left the cork out of my lunch."

Fields, W. C. on Alcohol and Alcoholism
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"Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream."

Fields, W. C. on Life and Living
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"A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money."

Fields, W. C. on Money
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"Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil."

Fields, W. C. on Acting and Actors
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"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally."

Fields, W. C. on Prejudice
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"My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?"

Fields, W. C. on Price
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"Start off everyday with a simple smile and get it over with."

Fields, W. C. on Smile
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"The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive."

Fields, W. C. on World
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"I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday."

Fields, W. C. on Cities and City Life
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"Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore, always carry a small snake "

Fields, W. C. on
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